Guess who's back!

Cor....it's been a while.

Now, under the advice of my dearest cousin, this blog will now contain more about my boring day-to-day life, as opposed to my witty and charming texts of general scrutiny of life.

Today I woke up at about 1. I don't like waking up. It involves too much movemet. The only reason I ever get up is for all the fun things I'll do that day......fine, just for breakfast.

Then I waited for a bus. It turned out to be the wrong bus.

So then I went back home. Ate. Slept. Ate a bit more. Scratched. Slept. Slept. Slept. Wrote this blog. Slept....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

When you wish upon a star, better shout loud, 'coz it's so far...

Really, they are.

Now, who would like to see the incredibly annoying thing I invented....
Would you?
It's so unbareably annoying,
it might just kill you
it will make you pull your hair out
along with various other bodily organs
which I will not go into
coz it will make you squirm
which is annoying
but if I over annoy you,
I'll overload your annoyance receptors
and you will explode
and the chances are
death will result of this
and so
i would now
like to introduce you
to
the
m
o
s
t

a
n
n
o
y
i
n
g

t
h
i
n
g

k
n
o
w
n

t
o

m
a
n
k
i
n
d..............................................................................................nah.

A Few Words...

A Few Words... I just blogged myself!

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y S now I know my A B C, Mummy, why won't you listen to me?

Do I really have to answer that?

Titles are for loners and bloggers

And I think I come into the second catagory. Ah! My computers crashirgaphnekg h[ivkdsf#ifnz

As sure as I have a hole in my.................

To read the next word in the title, look up Donkey in a thesaurus.

I've been watching the apprentice recently and so far I have learnt 6 variations on the F word, 20000 sharks comments to use when I become a boss, but nothing about business or being an apprentice, other than you can never please Sir Alan Sugar.

Long Time No Speak

Sorry I was gone so long. I was abducted by aliens and then taken to they're leader called 'The Shrink'. He asked me loads of strange questions about my personal life. When I refused to answer, he pumped me full of morphine. I don't remember what happened next and when I woke up, I went back to sleep so I had to get my secutary to write this entry.

If you swallow a burp, does it turn into a fart?

I don't know. Do you? Is there any scientific explination to why we're here - existing - breathing - respiring...

Through this meaning-of-life mindset alythogrym I've got myself into, something just occured to me: Is anyone actually reading this?

I could be wasting my time here typing into a black hole which will never be read or seen again...Well, I guess it's time to include some popular search keywords:

Cool! Wow! Wiked! Free! Meaning Of Life! Madonna! MP3! sd;ofjd;osfjnm! Search! Blogspot! Amazing! Mental! Wee! Poo! Sh...! F....! Mad! Incredible! Amazing! Cool! I'm Repeating myself now!

That should do it. Oh! It worked! Hello! Did you get here by typing in any of the words, phrases or over-rated gossip celebrities as listed above? Good! Then email me on your adventures of finding me and click HeRe!

Now that I'm certain that no one in their right minds would have read that paragraph without leaving my blog, it's time to get some secrets off my chest...

1. My name is not Tom....It's Tim.....or is it the other way 'round? I forget...
2. I did not win the Nobel Prize for litriture with this blog entry. I know, I know, it seems worthy, but in the end, one of my earlier posts won. (We're both talking about the same Nobel Prize here, I hope).

4. Four does not come after two.

And...that's about it...oh yeah: There's the attempt for global destruction (I drank way too much that night!), George Bush getting re-elected (Yes, that was my fault. Long story - I'll tell you some time - maybe in another blog). And the very existance of evil on the Earth. There was this potion I was told not to touch, but I touched it, and, well, recent events speak from themselves.

Here's the first picture I found on my computer...

I think these things are terrible. Kids want them, parents buy them, kids trash them, kids blame it on the dog, parents sympathise them, kids ask for new one, parents agree, kid trashes new one, and the cycle starts again, until Mommy's credit card balance is
-£20 000.

By this point, the husband's left home as he can't stand his wife spending so much and putting them in so much dept and pretty soon, the kid's living in a broken home, and he now has something for show-and-tell next Monday.

Hey - you can't tell me what to do, computer! I won't write a title just to spite you!

Right now my back hurts, but do you see me complaining? Oh, no!
To email me 10 reasons why this comment is stupid and irrelevant, click HERE. (You'll see a link at the bottom of the page).

Do you hate AOL? I realize the irony that I just created this blog using it, but I felt it was a necessary mention.

life is like a box of chocolates'......Not really: mine would be over by now.

Look: to be quite frank, I really hate you...nah, just kidding: that was an immature comment 'coz I ran out of things to say.

Did you know national Science week is coming up? I've only just recovered from the excitement of "Wear your underwear on your head" day.

Nah, but really, I love science. I mean come on - who doesn't? The Pope? Maybe, but if you find his blog on here, let me know.
But the average Joe-Blogski (I'll take this opportunity to refer to my old History teacher...Done) isn't the most important Catholic figured in the world, and loves science. What's not to love? Well, it's made terrorism and warfare even more devastating, caused heated arguments over "Science vs Religion", and I'll stop contradicting myself now. But science is great - biology (needless to say more) chemistry: boom, bang, fizz - who doesn't like chemicals reacting violently? And physics, one to be thanked for the atomic bomb.

(Actually, I hate the atomic bomb, but I find the science behind it fascinating. Einstein must be spinning in his grave).

My theory on the meaning of life...

Your own must be sad if your scanning blogs to find the meaning of it.
Wow! My shortest entry yet!

CLiCk HeRe!

Always look on the bright side of life, de doo, de doobeedoobeedo...

Some things in life make me think the modern world is a bit sad. For example, how newspapers and magazines need free DVD offers, 8-page puzzle pullouts and pictures of naked women to get people to buy their product, rather than writing something without the word 'sex' in it to get people more interested. See what I've done there? Without direct references to sex and naked women, you may not be reading this.

There must be some sad people out there on this blog - site. Someone else might offer you a free DVD if you read their sad story of how their monsterous appearance and cronic depression meant they were never loved.

And now that I'm writing in bold, I've got your attention even more! (note the exclimation mark at the end and the phrase in bracets that makes you more interested).

I very much so enjoy human psycology. Reverse psycology, even. That's entertaining and useful.

Anyway, back to whatever it was I was on about earlier. Nah, actually, I think I'll talk about something else.

Dont you hate spelling? If your an Oxford Proffesor of English, you may disagree, but the chances are, you're not, and you hate spelling, although it still bugs you when you see something misspelt in a magazine or book. What am I talking about? Im refering to you, when actualy you came here to hear people talk about themselves.

I'm not that interesting, really, but what I write obviously is, as your still reading.

A Bit About me...

I am male and human...need you know more?
Probably.

But that stuff's boring. We all know why were looking through these blogs - to find the disgusting habits of the general public.

This is another thing I find interesting. Some hide their diaries and hope no one finds it and puts it onto the net, others type it straight in.

Another thing is how, interestingly, none of my entries have corresponded with their titles.

That's what I like about this: It's free, so you can use it how the hell you like. I like the idea of now being in utter control of what you can see on your PC monitor. I could just say a bad word, or put an obsene image on the screen and warp your innocent mind...But that would be pointless, because it would only make my blog more popular.

A Quick intro...

Hi, I'm Tom.

You may be interested to know why I called my blog SuperCoolWikedFreeStuff...That was to get your attention.

I find life facinating. Millions and millions of years of evolution, and we still get fooled by that Beggar's Brother riddle.

I have a URL: TheBestoftheNet.Batcave.Net, where you can see all the best of the net...

Cool! I went back in time!

I just realized something: not once have I actually told you the meaning of life! That was the whole point of this blog!

OK, here goes.
The meaning of life....
the true meaning....
the real true meaning....
no one has ever discovered....
it's all so simple......
the meaning of life is:

Oh, cool! My Tomb Raider game has arrived! Thank you, Amazon.com!